For too long, men have been told that midlife is the beginning of the end—a period of crisis, decline, and invisibility—when in fact, midlife can be an incredible time of renewal, confidence, and impact.
And so I, as serial entrepreneur, husband, father, and athlete turned performance coach, podcast host, author and speaker wrote The Midlife Male—a must-read guide for men who are tired of the narrative that getting older means irrelevance.
I’ve been working on it for years. Actually, I didn't think it was a book at first. I just started writing every Sunday and the next thing I know, two years had passed and I had more than 100 articles written, along with having interviewed more than 100 entrepreneurs, athletes, chefs, CEO's, authors and artists for the podcast.
So…I pitched it to a publisher to do a book “For Midlife Males, by a Midlife Male” to share my experiences and the experiences of these men because I wasn’t seeing anything else out there like this and if having these types of conversations, learning, and hearing from these types of guys was genuinely making my life better, than I felt it’d do the same for other men in similar situations.
What I really wanted though was to write a book that felt real. That was conversational, relatable and yet aspirational. Too much of what I’ve experienced is extreme. It’s either too clinical, academic, cerebral or it’s some guy who’s tortured himself on some insane physical journey that I’ll never do (by choice…).
I fall in the middle. And I truly believe that Midlife does not have to be a time of crisis, but rather that the middle is the sweet spot.
We’ve been fed this BS for too long. We’ve been told that midlife is the beginning of the end—a period of crisis, decline, and invisibility—when in fact, midlife can be an incredible time of renewal, confidence, and impact.
The phrase “midlife crisis” was coined by Elliott Jaques in 1965 in an attempt to capture the shift in identity and self-confidence that occurs as we transition to the next stage of life. It’s associated with anxiety, depression, resentment, remorse, conformity, complacency and generally other things that suck.
But it doesn’t have to suck. The Midlife Male explores the experience of balancing work, life, family, health and fitness, money, and style and how to live the best life possible without regret.
So what is maximizing middle age, or any age for that matter?
He’s about having both substance and style, punching the bully in the mouth, experiences over things, quality over quantity. He’s about learning and living; trying, failing and ultimately succeeding. He’s not trying to fit in or conform, but does love iconic, classic, timeless style. He’s about being a great father. About understanding that there are no things more valuable than time, health and family. He’s about knowing when enough is enough. He is about perseverance, discipline and having fun.
For most men we’ve been taught that the definition of success is “Salary & Title.” It’s not.
My perspective on work and life for the Midlife Male is simple. We all are navigating 6F’s—Family, Fitness, Finance, Food, Fashion, and Fun—and once I developed a more holistic and well rounded approach to living a successful life, and stopped chasing the societal metric for success, everything improved.
Always comes First. Love over all.
Without your health and fitness—physical and mental—you can’t do the things you love with the ones you love.
You need enough $ to do the things you love with the ones you love and for the ones you love.
For experiencing sustenance, socializing, and flavors, breaking bread is fuel for your adventures in body, mind, and soul.
You enhance confidence and presence when you step into your style and express yourself.
Without fun, we’re done. What’s the point of any of this if we’re not having any fun?
Start by surrounding yourself with people you love and trust and ideas you care about. Resolve to bring passion, authenticity, humility, and transparency to everything you do.
The goal is to turn your F’s into A’s. And once you do, your report card will never be the same.
At the core, this is what Forever Forward is all about. Continuing to move forward. Embracing curiosity. Sharing, caring, succeeding, failing, living, learning and loving.
We talk about having a balanced portfolio in investing. We do deep dives into risk taking and mitigation in business. But often we neglect looking at our own lives in the same manner.
I’d offer that while your “F’s” may be different from mine, you may also have more or less, a focus on total life wellness results in living better, stronger, happier, healthier, wealthier and longer.
Greg Scheinman is a performance coach, the host of The Midlife Male podcast, and the creator of MidlifeMale.com—the premier digital media community for middle-aged men seeking to maximize their lives. In 2018, he launched the Midlife Male Movement to help men like him in their forties and fifties to strive to be their best selves by getting active, curious, naked— and real. Greg has played many roles in his life: a filmmaker, sports video producer, TV host, fitness studio owner, insurance broker, performance coach, executive athlete—and most importantly, a friend, father, husband, brother, and son.